Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Preperation

Why did I decide to call this "A Divorce Journey? It has two connotations, thus made it a perfect choice. The first is the literal sense, going through divorce is like taking a journey from one part of your life to begin a new part. The second is that when you are on a journey, you are usually on the trip with tthose who are making the same trip. You will be seperated from your daily life and everything will feel new to you. That is why in my previous post I mention to surround yourself with the warrior, mentor, and doctor. These are the people who are going to keep you grounded and sane.

When you get a chance, register with and begin talking to others who are going through the same thing as you. You are not alone! There are millions of people out there who can share their stories with you.

Here is the actual definiton of DIVORCE:

DIVORCE - any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom. (

You and your spouse already decided to seperate and all you are doing is making it formal. Why is divorce always ugly? The judge doesn't know you form Adam, so the petitioner and the respondent are trying to plead to the judge they are telling the truth and it becomes a batlle of the sales pitch. Remeber, Are you going to try to sell something to a client if you are not prepared? NO!

I can't stress this enough. I have spoken to many people that have been divorced and feel taken advantaged. You do not want that to happen to you. ALWAYS STAY ON TOP OF THE GAME! This is your life we are talking about.

I hope all this helps and will talk to you all soon,

Please let me know of any comments or concerns

God Bless,

Andy K

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Walking the Path

Everybody knows that divorce is not going to be easy so do not expect it to be something that can go away like a bad dream. When you begin walking on the path of this journey, having an attorney along side of you is like walking along side a knight who vows to protect you from those surprise attacks that may come your way. The roads that you once knew like the back of your hand have now changed and you begin to feel like a stranger in your own comfort zone. Friends aren't that close, as they do not want to feel pressured into taking sides. You begin to realize that you are on this jouney alone. Sure, you have family to support you, but they will always take your side and rarely be subjective. Blood is thicker than water and the last thing they want is their own family member in pain. So, you need a person who is not a family member but will always be objective during good and bad times, like a mentor. I'm not talking about the attorney because that is your "warrior". You can become emotional in front of your attorney, so the "mentor" is great for advice and help keep you level headed.  So, now you have your warrior and a mentor. Its good to have one additional person for venting, the "Doctor." This is not a real doctor or medic. This is a person who is there for you to vent, or release your stress. This is not something you want to put on the mentor's shoulders, as too much burden can cause people to leave your side.  The four of you are walking the path like Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbes, and Samantha Jones from Sex and the City. They each have their own lives but make time to be a part of eachother's as well. Whether it's venting, needing someone to talk to, getting advice on a decision, or help with a situation, you know that you are taken care of.

Now, if memories of past events and situations arise while on your Divorce Journey, it is important to note them down. You may feel  it is insignificant or not worried about it. TRUST ME!!!! You will be later. Divorce is not a situation where two people realize that it doesn't work, and part mutual friends. Especially, when there are kids involved! Yes, there are times when there can be an uncontested divorce. However, more times than not, the respondent will break out every trick they can to save their butt. If you do not agree this may happen with you, I am happy for you, however there is no harm in being prepared if it does. Remember, I mentioned divorce is like fighting for your life. Once it is over, the other person can give two hoots about you or your life. So, I can't say it enough, BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING!!!!!